Vicious rumors

I cannot believe that my dear, sweet, lovely friend would say such things about me. Who would believe that such an innocent soul as myself would do the things she accuses me of so freely? It disappoints me. I can't help it that all she ever did to me was saran wrap my car once while my own escapades far overshadowed that incident (which was completely negligible I might add)...

Vet school was difficult but we had a lot of fun, especially the last year when we were on clinical rotations. I spent a lot of time trying to talk Can'tSpell into helping with my scathingly brilliant schemes like decorating our favorite teacher's office on graduation day or posting anonymous cartoons and such. There are definitely times that I miss school since it's hard to find people to share my weird sense of humor.

Tonight, however, the overnight crew just pulled a superb prank--their idea with my blessing. We are unusually slow with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in ICU. So when the shift change was coming, we set up the crash table with a dummy and pretended that it was there in critical condition while we all ignored it. One of the assistants got into an empty cage which we covered with a blanket and posted caution notices and ran a fluid line in then proceeded to make angry cat noises. To help, the clinic cat who we routinely joke has the job of escorting dying souls to heaven because of her habit of showing up in ICU when an animal arrests actually came to see what was happening. It was a beautiful effort that would have only been improved if the next shift had been a more excitable group.

I hope that the night of Saturday March 14 is this slow because I may actually be able to sleep prior to driving!! I doubt I'll be that lucky, though, since this is the slowest night I've ever had since being here. Still looking forward to my great escape and waiting with baited breath to see if I actually pull it off. The story I alluded to earlier, by the way, is called "The Torture by Hope." If interested, just google it and a full text is available.

Guess I'll go away for now and maybe take a nap or search for some heavy-duty caffeine since my eyes are in need of matchsticks to keep them open. Only 18 weeks to go for this internship insanity...

This is why...

This is why I KNOW Dr. May B. Insane will torture me when she's staying with me for a week. And this was done to somebody we LIKE.

Perspective

I'm getting near the end of my rotating internship (insanity) and will find out on Monday if I matched for a residency (craziness). I've been away (way away) from my home for a long time now and I feel the anticipation of going back growing now that I'm past the half-way mark. Even better is the fact that my specialty rotation is fast approaching and I have plans to get away for a while; yes, I'll still be working but sometimes just away is a vacation. I'm only worried that they will pull the rug from under my feet when I least expect it and I will find all of my anticipation is for naught i.e. I'm afraid they'll suddenly change my schedule again and prevent my escape. Only when I'm on the road speeding away from here will I breathe a true sigh of relief.

Everyone is convinced I'm crazy because I've already started packing my car for the trip. I'm on overnights and don't have much time and the trip is only 2.5 weeks away (sounds good as an excuse doesn't it?) I've also determined that since I'll only have 13 weeks left when I get back (yes, I could also bore you with the days and maybe even the hours if you wanted) that there are some things with which I can do without for the remainder of the internship. These things are being packed as well. As further proof of my insanity, I'm seriously considering taking my children (read fuzzy four-legged) with me to work on my last overnight (a 16 hour shift) and hitting the road immediately after rounds for the 18 hour drive home. Yes, I know it's crazy but that just shows how much I need to be home for a little while!!!

At the moment, I keep thinking of that short story (although I cannot remember the name at the moment) where part of the torture is the hope of escape. Just when the main character thinks he has succeeded, he is stopped and realizes that his captors have been using hope to torture him. Perhaps I am over-dramatizing but that is my current perspective.

I get to visit Can'tSpell during this time also since she is being kind enough to host me during one week of my rotation and we are going to a tiny little restaurant that serves the best steak I've ever tasted in my life. NO, I will not reveal where it is because then people might discover it and ruin the whole place. It is in the middle of nowhere and beats the steak in the big city any day. For some reason she seems to have the strange idea that I will somehow torture her during that time with a practical joke...just can't figure out what makes her think such things.

Looking forward to my escape and running away as fast as I can;)

Oh the joys of (almost) spring

Sorry about the lack of posts lately, I've actually been sorta busy DOING my day job. It's kinda funny, one day I'll have nothing to do and the next will be busy, than nothing again. I've had a lot of leg work lately, making calls and running down specialists on the phone. I have a couple of neat cases to tell you about but it'll have to wait until I have time to type them out. Hope everybody is doing ok!

Bored

I'm bored. There, I've said it, lightening can now strike me dead and I can see twelve long internal medicine cases in two hours. Monday was awesome, three surgeries and enough appointments to keep me from sitting at the computer for most of the day. That's the kind of day I like- a busy one. However, between the winter blues of slowness, today's dreary drizzle/rain/show event, and the economy, today is a total bust. It's kinda been like this all winter, but the last week was looking up. Then today. We'll see if it continues. Nothing new to report, get to watch the equine dentists do a float next week. I could do it if I had the equipment, but they are certified, have better equipment, and do it much much faster with more experience. Plus I hate to float teeth.

This just takes the cake

First, I must apologize for the non-veterinary related post. It's just that some of the information contained in this article really yanked my chain.

I'm sorry, but the oil producers, who posted record profits again in 2008 are robbing Peter to pay themselves. In case you haven't noticed, gas prices are rising in spite of the nearly 5-year record low of crude prices. You'd think these low crude prices would cause gas prices to go down, right? Nope. Refiners are "trying to match supply to demand" by CUTTING PRODUCTION. This, of course, causes gas prices to go up, because there is less supply. If you read toward the end of the above linked article, there is a line or two about refiners trying to keep their [refineries] margins about the same as before, meaning that they want the same profit they've come to expect over the last year or two.

I'm sorry POS Big Oil companies, but when our country is in a severe recession, we have record unemployment, and it would be nice to save a little bit of money at the pump while driving around to put in applications trying to find a job, you are SCREWING us just like always. It would be nice if we could simply choose not to use your product. Unfortunately, you have us by the (in my case figurative) balls and you know it. So I have to vent on this blog (again, sorry for the non-veterinary post) and scheme of ways to turn vegetable oil into gasoline.

Things that make you go ahhhhhhh......

"All right, you ready?"

"Yeah," my technician answers. She takes an unfolded towel and holds it up between her and the incision area.

I take my scalpel and poise it over the turgid skin. With one bold slice, I poke through the skin and slice downward. Blood gushes out and runs all over the surface, pouring down into the towel we had pre-positioned. I squeeze all the blood out, swab out the interior with a gauze sponge, and start to suture. I had a large, silly smile on my face.

This morning I did a surgery I love to do- I fixed an aural hematoma. When dogs get ear infections (due to lots of causes, more on that in the future) they shake their head. With me so far? When they shake their head really hard, sometimes the blood vessels between the layers of the ear break, causing the ear to swell up like a balloon. This condition is pretty painful, and usually requires surgical correction. There are about twelve billion ways to surgically fix this, and most of them work as well as the other. I just like doing the surgery.

Reason being, I love to pop pimples, pick scabs, and otherwise pop gooey things. Like abscesses. Aural hematomas are just fun. Messy, yes. Almost instantly satisfying, sometimes with impressive gushes of blood or sprays across the room. And something that is one of those surgeries that just makes your morning. Dr. May B. Insane may raz on me later for this- she's at a specialty hospital and so doesn't get to do these fun neat things at all right now. Maybe soon, my friend. Until then, I get them all!!!! Nah nah nah ne boo boo.