Skewed perspective

I'm beginning to worry a bit about myself...again. I can't figure this place out. So, I'm at a university teaching hospital now for this internship and am enjoying being back in the academic atmosphere where everything becomes a chance to learn. Much improved since the other place where, while I'll admit it was not a complete waste of my time, I was very unhappy. That being clarified, I'll try to explain my dilemma.

I'm really enjoying working with the students and teaching them although I definitely defer to the senior clinicians since they know a whole lot more than I do. Thing is, though, they don't really give me much of a chance to teach. On overnights I get more opportunity but then my learning time begins to suffer (besides that I certainly wouldn't want to do continuous overnights!!! Ugggghhhhh!!!!) I also don't get much of a chance to do anything since I'm always sacrificing to let the students do then when they hand to me someone else grabs it away (i.e. the techs) almost as if they are afraid to let me do anything or I might mess it up. This is particularly difficult for a person with my completely non-traditional background. I've been out of school for 2 years, did almost a year of mixed animal private practice prior to my first internship. I am capable of pulling blood and placing IV catheters, etc. but they slap my hand away every time.

The other weird thing is that they are much more lenient on the students here than where I went to school in so many ways but the things they choose to go crazy about are just wacko. For instance: the students expect lunch every day as in to be able to go out and get something, they are given their radiology cases to work on a week in advance, they expect to leave on time every day and not be asked to stay late, they rarely have their "supplies," and the list goes on. Lunch?!?!?! IF you got it it was on the fly except on rare occasions. Our radiology cases were handed to us at 8 a.m. and we were told you have 15 minutes. Get out on time?!?!?! When did that happen? You cannot imagine the number of times I was asked "Are we stuck here until they are all done?" Whining or not having supplies??? I'm sure some people did but I would have thought you wouldn't pass the rotation. I threatened to get candy pacifiers for the last group because I was tired of telling them to stop whining.

By the way, did I mention that they get days off? Each rotation they are allowed a certain number of days off. These have to be approved, of course, but DAYS OFF!!!! I don't remember days off in vet school unless you were pretty much on death's doorstep...

I have, however, seen them go off on people about the oddest matters. Things that to me were of little or no consequence and someone is chewed out about it. An example that comes readily to mind regards myself but is very illustrative of the point. While on overnights, the rule is that you should be in ICU between 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. for case transfer matters. I stepped out one morning at 7:45 a.m. to take an emergency call (for the hospital not personal) so that I could hear better and got chewed out about it. The students get the same types of things.

Perhaps it is a type of la la land. I'm not really sure yet. Just know I feel a little as if I fell through the looking glass and am at the mad hatter's in wonderland. Still trying to figure it all out but am at least enjoying the interaction with many of the clinicians and the learning.