Californy is the place you oughta be...

NOT!

So, Maybe has been pestering me to post something for, well, forever. I just don't have near as much good blog fodder as I used to have!

So, as many of you know, I left private practice a few years ago to work for the dark side. At the time I didn't realize that by doing this I would be opening myself up to one of my biggest fears- airplanes. However, with all the various trainings I've had to go to since then it's literally been a very easy choice- get on the darn plane or quit my job. I need my job right now- another one in this economy wouldn't be easy to come by where I want to live.

I have been relatively lucky with my four other trips (Holy crap- they actually got me on an airplane four other times?!?!?!) in that they were short flights- an hour and 20 minutes tops. However, last Monday I had to conquer my fears in a big way and hop on a FOUR HOUR PLANE TRIP to attend a training session held in California. Yuck, puke to quote a favorite aunt of mine... But that's not what makes this trip funny...

This training is for literally EVERY offline inspector in the country, and we are the 12th class of 200 USDA types to be cycled through this particular hotel. It's a nice hotel- I kinda like it. It has free breakfast (not something to be taken for granted among pricey hotels), free basic shuttle service, and some other nice things. However, 12 classes of rowdy USDA types have apparently taken it's toll on the poor hotel- I think it's literally falling apart.

The first day I was here one of my classmates told me his shower wall fell on him. Not a piece- the whole darn wall! He got a nice free room upgrade. The biggest windstorm to hit Southern California in 30 years descended the second day I was here and another classmate told me he had to use his iron to knock his window back into the frame. Granted, 60 mph winds are kinda extreme, but still...

However, something happened to me the third day that would have sent Maybe into a frothing fit of phobia induced insanity- I got stuck in the elevator on the way down.

I got on the packed elevator on my floor and it started descending towards the lobby. It's always a bad sign when the elevator starts to go down before the doors close... About 3 seconds into it I noticed we seemed to be going down awful fast... I literally opened my mouth to say that and we heard this awful noise and literally crashed to a halt! I swear, I think the elevator used it's emergency stop system. It took ten minutes for hotel maintiance to get us out. I was fine until I got out- then I took the stairs the rest of the way down and tried to stop my legs from shaking.

I'm a little phobic about going down now- it doesn't help that all the elevators are glass on the outside and you can see going up and down. I don't think I'd mind it so much if it was enclosed and you couldn't see how high up you were or how fast you were going.

I am now an amateur expert on elevator safety mechanisms.