Cats - The Ultimate Weapon

Sssshhhhh, don't let my dogs hear this, I'm really more of a cat person, generally speaking. I've even threatened to open an all cat clinic; particularly on those hundred plus pounder dog days. But there is just no way a dog can match a cat for the sheer amount of damage inflicted on a human when said cat is angered. It kind of reminds me of the facetious piece about deer hunting that explains in great detail why the human gets to carry a gun. Maybe declawing isn't such a bad thing, after all... Two illustrations to follow.

The first happened last week at work and, fortunately, no major bodily harm occurred. We had a cat to neuter who was supposed to get pre-anesthetic blood work including a FeLV/FIV test. Notice I said supposed. I can handle a lot of cats that other people find impossible. Suffice it to say this was not one. Despite our best laid plans, the cat exploded from his crate and was high-banking around the room. He created shambles with scratches up and down the walls, on the chairs, and through an oxygen hose. He kicked over two oxygen tanks and hit the door multiple times before we were able to lasso him (me) then pin him to the floor under a thick blanket (my tech) and slip him a quick acting mickey. Okay, so the blood work became post-induction. Other than a nice bruise and minor bite wound on my arm, we all emerged unscathed - including the cat!

The second incident led to bloodshed. Mine. My personal cat herd is a motley crew with mixed backgrounds including a couple of semi-feral cats. All have baggage except maybe Caleb. Cassie is a spoiled brat and she likes to whine about anything that isn't her idea therefore the monthly application of Revolution causes great complaint. The whole crew was somewhat edgy because I've not spent enough time with them the past few days and because the food bowls were a little low (gasp, you could see the bottom in places!). I picked up Cassie for her turn and she started squalling then a quick, white movement from across the room caught my eye. I turned just in time to see Katrina, the white witch, come charging at me to attack Cassie, who was dangling from my hands. In a flash of white fury, she ran up my leg. As I tried to stop her, she clung to my leg just above the knee. With supreme effort, I held onto Cassie, who was screeching and scratching to get away, and shook the white witch off my leg. Then I put Cassie's Revolution on and released her.

If you'll excuse me, now, I'll limp away and clean up the blood...