Monday, March 15, 2010

Dear Stupid Client vol 1

I've decided to make this long-overdue edition of this blog to air a list if things that are pet-peeves about what client's say. In no particular order...

1) "My dog's been sick for a week, you think I should bring him/her in?"
2) "Will my dog get sick from eating a whole ham bone?" Well, wouldn't you???
3) As they leave their sick/dehydrated/vomiting/not eating/insert deathly illness here dog to you for treatment, they ask "Can you trim his nails too?"
4) Same scenario as above, but they ask if the dog/cat's shots can be updated.
5) Stupid client asks over the phone what caused their dog to die even though we've never seen the dog. Let me get out my magic crystal ball...
6) No Mr. Stupid Client, I cannot tell you if your dog has diabetes just by looking at it.
7) The cat has an arm that is clearly broken and facing the other way- "He doesn't act like he's in pain..."
8) "Can I give my dog aspirin/Tylenol/ibuprofen?"
9) "I have given my dog 15 aspirin/Tylenol/ibuprofen."
10) "Why does this cost so much?"
11) "My last vet didn't charge this much!"

More to follow as I encounter them...


Anonymous said...

It...It...It's ALIVE!!!!!!!!! Nice to see that you haven't been eaten by the dark side (Facebook, Farmville, etc.) and are still around. Would be nicer still if you would post more and more often. Had the feeling that Dr. May B. Insane had taken over the whole blog... Entertain us!

Dr Ferox said...

What about "I know you said phone for an update at 6pm, but I'm driving past there today and was wondering if I could pick him up at 2 after you fix his broken leg then instead?"

Anonymous said...

Don't forget "You should do this for free because you LOVE animals!"

Doc Truli said...

12) "He hardly eats anything!" Looking at BCS 9/9.
13) I just heard, "No one told me to put the tick collar on the dog." Then cry hysterically about a tick crawling on your pillowcase. Srsly?
14) "That pill was sure hard to get up there!" (Gave metronidazole as a suppository to stop diarrhea.) Srsly?
15) "I just had his teeth done!" Look in medical record...three years ago!
My fave phone comeback: Caller: "What's wrong with my dog?" Vet: "What color is the picture on the wall behind me?" Caller: "What?" Aha!
16) "You never told me to give heartworm preventative!" Srsly? There's only, what, a bijillion posters on the wall, a signed decline form, and you paid for a heartworm test and never thought it was for something?
17) Oh! Oh! This one tied up the receptionist for an hour:
Client" "When did I give the last heartworm pill?"
Receptionist, "Ma'am, you gave it at home, I can't possibly guess when you gave the pill."
Repeat over and over for an hour (I have kind, patient, doormat-type receptionists.)
If patients weren't suffering and dying, this would be funnier...