Monday, March 14, 2011

On Southern drawls, crazy clients, and my nasty sense of humor

As I've indicated in the past, I do have a nasty sense of humor at times. Just can't help myself when it happens; something sets me off and away I go completely unable to check myself. The title ties it all in together you see...

Last Friday, one of our crazies came in wanting to see me. Now this is a novelty as most folks come demanding to see "Doc," not me. Turns out she had seen Doc about 2 weeks prior with her dog that she had suddenly taken on a 2 mile hike after not exercising at all for 2 months then was concerned when he became lame. Hmmmm. Genius, figure that one out. Apparently the current unrest was due to the fact that Doc failed to x-ray the leg on that visit but indicated that if the dog failed to improve that would be the next step. Enter crazy client wanting to see the other doctor!

My exam showed the same things Doc had found but I went ahead and did x-rays since there was no ethical reason not to do so and it was what the client wanted. Surprise, surprise, there were no major findings on the films. I had a blast explaining all of this to the client who fits the stereotypical Yankee know-it-all type we ignorant Southerners dread. Since the client clearly knew everything, I started tossing out "doctor words" and using correct anatomical terminology just to make her squirm and have to ask what it meant. The crowning moment was when I said "stifle" and between my drawl and her confusion she thought I said "stafle."

That incident made me remember another time that my drawl caused confusion to a poor Yankee soul. I was instructing an owner in another state north of the Mason-Dixon line to cook boiled chicken and rice to feed their dog who had stomach issues. The owner asked me what that was. Admittedly, I was very confused wondering who on earth had failed to hear of boiled chicken and rice so I rather hesitantly replied, "You put chicken in water in a boiler and boil it on the stove and you do the same to the rice just adding no seasoning to either..." Perhaps all y'all that have heard my drawl or a similar one have already figured out the key but it took the owner explaining to me that they thought I had said "bald chicken."

Having a Southern drawl is certainly fun and I'm quite proud of it. I can also make it worse when I feel like it; particularly when my sense of humor gets out of control and I decide to really put on the ignorant Southern act in order to take someone out. At certain places that I have worked I really believe that people asked me questions simply to hear me speak. There were certainly times that I've been requested to say certain words like dog or walk. As I told one person I knew, though, at least we in the South know that "drawer" has an "-er" on the end unlike the person with whom I was conversing who said it "draw." Now it really gets funny when I take my Southern accent and imitate Brooklyn...

The problem is the heat, you understand. In the South it gets so hot and humid that we have to speak slowly and let our words kinda lean on one another for moral support or we'd never say anything at all!

Another incident of Friday was also very satisfying (I was really on the roll once I got started!) About 3 weeks ago, I pinned a femur fracture on a little dog then received a call from the owner who had seen another vet for the recheck on day 12 that it was not healing, the pin was placed wrong, and the leg needed to be plated immediately. Side note, there are definitely some of our colleagues that need to learn the art of client communication and how to respectfully disagree with your colleague rather than running them in the ground. The owner had a hard time getting the dog to us (long story) but e-mailed the films which did show no evidence of healing and the pin being apparently in the joint. I had the owner get the dog to us (no one there wanted to touch it since they had not started it) and leave it since travel was a problem, at no charge for the boarding. Rechecked the film and saw that the pin was fine - my colleague failed to get a perfect lateral view therefore the pin placement appeared questionable. Additionally, the leg is healing nicely. I think I shall e-mail those films to a certain veterinarian with a very nicely sarcastic comment on tangential x-ray beam artifact.....

2 comments:

Mark said...

Wait, they committed character assassination of the previous vet, followed it with proposing a (presumably expensive) procedure, but they weren't trying to steal the customer? Wow, that's something else.

Dr. May B. Insane said...

I think they probably did want to steal the customer but were unwilling to make any adjustments on the previous repair wanting to do the other procedure. The client couldn't afford the other procedure or it probably would have been done...