Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What I want to be when I grow up

You know, I should be...

Client: You know Doc, the police officer who lives behind me said he's been poisoned.
Hmmm.... your dog is vomiting and very skinny.
If I'd wanted to be a police officer, I could arrest people.

Client: You know Doc, my groomer said Fluffy has worms when he scoots his butt on the carpet.
Your dog's anal glands are full.
If I'd wanted to be a groomer, I would have taken an online course.

Client: You know Doc, my Aunt said that this is exactly what her dog did when he had Parvo!
Your dog is 3 years old and has had all his shots. Your dog has gastritis from the ham bone you fed him.
Well, I am an Aunt, but still...

Client: You know Doc, the teller at the bank said her dog gets terrible allergies every fall, too.
Gee, dogs don't sneeze when they get allergies, they get skin problems. Your dog has Kennel Cough.
If I'd wanted to be a bank teller, I'd have applied at a bank.


I can't go around arresting people, I can't groom dogs, and I certainly am not a bank teller. I am a veterinarian. I don't try to do YOUR job, so PLEASE don't tell me how to do MINE. I did, after all, spend a lot of money on *EIGHT* years of college. Though it would be nice to have a bunch of money to count all day...

4 comments:

Evil Transport Lady said...

LOL! The Parvo got me, and the anal glands......geez people are idiots!

Can'tSpell, DVM said...

Yeah, people are idiots and I've learned this a lot since I started working in vet med!!!!

Caro said...

Wait, dogs don't sneeze when they have allergies? I took mine hiking last week when MY allergies were going nuts, and he was sneezing up a storm the whole time. And has been totally fine since, at least on the sneezing front (he does have an ear infection, for which I did take him to the vet)- is the sneezing something I should have taken him to the vet for? I am new at dog ownership, and not really sure when to act and when to just wait things out, you know? He's been vaccinated for kennel cough!

Dreamer said...

As an owner of 2 dogs, 2 horses, and a cat I value my veterinarians! I admit I love thehorse.com, but definitely don't think I or my hairdresser knows better. A moment of ignorance I saw at a boarding barn I worked at, was a horse owner whose husband was a MD (plastic surgeon), being that he's a big shot plastic surgeon, he took it upon himself to doctor the horses huge cyst under the jaw. I don't remember all of the details, but I do remember this veterinary surgeon lecturing plasticMD on how different the physiology of a horse is and using drug xyz was a mistake and how in our state only a DVM can prescribe drugs for a horse and not a MD.

I was impressed with how tactful the vet was with his words. This surgeon was a true diplomat.