Me: How big is the donkey and is he gelded?
Client: Well, he's as big as a freakin' house! And no, he's not gelded, I wanted him to protect my goats! I would never take away his manhood!#$%^&
Me: Well, if he's not gelded he's a lot harder to handle...
Client: I never handle him, so that's not a problem.
Me: But you expect me to stick him with a needle?
Client: Well, you can try! *laughs*
Me: What's the ferrier going to do?
Client: Dodge, really fast! *laughs harder*
What, a DVM is a degree in how to dodge flying hooves, stick needles in speeding objects, tackle my patients, get bitten, walk around in a haze of fur, oh, by the way, the x-ray processor is out can you fix it?
I should have been a plumber. They make more than I do.