Monday, November 17, 2008

My TV Commercial

Sometimes I feel like I should just record some of my more often given talks and just play them while the client is waiting. You know, the heartworm talk, the spay/neuter talk, why you shouldn't vaccinate your dog yourself talk, the food allergy/atopy/flea allergy dermatitis talk, ad nausium, ad nausiom.

It's not very often, however, that I feel like I should record the same talk to the same client.

This absolutely adorable little old lady has a dog who gets fed a little too much people food. This causes him to have gastritis a little too often and not eat. I saw the little guy the first time and put him on a short course of sucralfate and metronidazole. Metronidazole is a drug we use in low doses for it's intestinal anti-inflammatory qualities. Since this little dog weighed about 4 pounds I mixed the pills in into a liquid form for ease of administration and dosing. It taste's very yucky, however, and the client christened it, "That Yucky Medicine" or TYM for short.

I told her about five times during the initial visit what exactly TYM was for, i.e. "Now, Mrs. XYZ, I know it tastes bad, but it calms down the inflammation in the intestines..." We'll call this phrase 1 for ease of typing.

So later that day I get a call from Mrs. XYZ. "Now dear, what exactly does TYM do?" I patiently explain again Phrase 1 and she is happy.

Repeat the next day.
And the next day.
And the next day.
And the next day.

So she stops calling for a few days and I rest secure in the knowledge that her dog is feeling better.

Than she calls back. "Dear, Pookie ate a little chicken today and isn't eating. Should I start him back on TYM?"
"Yes Ma'am," I say. And repeat Phrase 1.
And again.
And again.
And again.

Now don't get me wrong. I really like Mrs. XYZ and she is as sweet and polite as she can be. But I feel like I can start my own record label. It'll be called MedicalGems and the lead track will be titled, "TYM and Mrs XYZ." I could make a fortune, and start a company to record all the usual "talks" that vets give their clients and same them the trouble.

You can than call me Dr. Can'tSpell, millionaire. Yeah right. And I can fly without an airplane, too. Zoom Zoom.

3 comments:

Purple Stinky Onion said...

You are so funny!! I worked for multiple peds. practices and while you waited on hold..it gave medical information, sometimes the parents would complain after we picked up the phone, "a yeah, i was just listening to the advice and I guess my child really isn't sick, his/her temperature is only 99.2F--a okay goodbye", and then they would hang up. It always cracked me up! Now, we need a line for ,"so when do you think my baby will be born, "a let me check the crystal ball/ or magic 8 ball"!

I want to fly too!

Shalom said...

I've had to make metronidazole suspension for children, and I suppose for veterinary use the same applies: If you have patients who refuse to take it because of the horrible taste, try using metronidazole benzoate powder instead rather than crushing tablets: it's almost insoluble and therefore tasteless, where the free alcohol is bitter. Formulations for making the suspensions are online.

1.6 grams of the benzoate salt is equivalent to 1 gram of the free alcohol. It's a stock item at my wholesaler, or you could probably order them direct from Medisca. NDC is 38779-0238-04.

(We also flavor our meds for children; the same company makes veterinary flavorings as well, although we don't stock them here. Google for "FlavoRx".)

Anonymous said...

If it is any consolation, Mrs. XYZ is MY patient, and she doesn't do any better remembering her own blood pressure medicine..."Now, I take half a pill on Tuesday and Friday..or that my blue one for my water???......." Pattie, RN