22 hours ago
Saturday, March 3, 2012
I have a T-shirt, purchased for me by my mother, that says "Sarcasm, Just One of My Many Talents." She, as well as most everyone who know me well, seem to think it fits. I'm sure my mom is very proud of my many talents. I doubt, however, she would have predicted or chosen some of the best ones. Like my talent of mimicking the sound of a reverse sneeze. Given that this is probably one of the most common benign complaints for which I see panicked parents with their dog who "can't breathe," "is choking," "has asthma," "can't catch its breath," "is in heart failure," or any number of other death-inducing emergent presentations, it is a wonderfully helpful talent. I make the noise and the parents are amazed and delighted that I know what they mean and their baby is not dying. I can also mimic mother cats calling their kittens (it's how I used to catch and tame barn cats as a child), mimic many accents or patterns of speech (often unintentional), and some heart murmur sounds. Now if only I could sing well enough that I didn't have to restrict that activity to when I'm all alone...